Some Serious Misery
by Smenzer
Summary: THE CRONOS STONE: Will Autolycus goof up Palpatine's plan to be Emperor and prevent Anakin from becoming Vader? crossover fic
1. Default Chapter

Title: Some Serious Misery

Title: Some Serious Misery

Author: Smenzer

Rating: PG

Pairing: None. Young Hercules

Archive: Yes, please. Let me know if you take it, OK?

Teaser: Strife wants to be a REAL God.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Studios USA or 

Whoever owns the Rights to Young Hercules. The other characters belong to George Lucas. They are not mine, either. Skittles candies belong to M&M/MARS.This is just for fun. No money is being made.

Strife popped into his Uncle Ares temple and sighed. Ever since those two weirdoes had visited, things just weren't the same. All his uncle did anymore was sit in his thrown with that blonde and eat those colored sweet things. Worse, Ares refused to give him any of the highly desired Skittles. Once, he had gotten his hands on a tiny red bag of the things. Hmmmm....his mouth watered at the memory. The tastes! The fruity flavors! Strife rubbed his pale hands together. He had to get some!

Strife peered around the stone pillar. He spotted Ares. The War God relaxed in his throne his back against one arm and his legs thrown over the other. The blonde bard, Gabrielle, sat on his lap and leaned back against the chair's tall backrest. She reached for the pile of red Skittles bags on Ares chest and tore one open. She dropped a few colored candies into Ares' open mouth, then stuck a handful into her own mouth. 

Strife stepped out from behind the pillar and approached Ares. "Uncle Ares, I'm tired of being a nobody. I want to be a REAL God, one with a temple, worshippers and lots of Skittles! So when am I going to get all that stuff?"

Ares chewed the candies in his mouth and swallowed. He stared at Strife and shook his head. "Strife, when are you going to learn? You have to earn it. I earned all this by working hard. You need to build up your reputation, strike fear into some mortal hearts. Then, maybe, just maybe they might build you a temple."

"I try. I really, really do." Strife said.

"You're only naughty." Ares told him. Ares took a bag of Skittles off his chest and tossed it to Strife. The God of Mischief caught the precious red bag and clutched it in his pale hands. "No go out and cause some serious misery for some mortals, Strife. Put fear in their hearts. Show them you are a GOD. You do that, and they'll build you a temple."

Strife teleported out of Ares' temple and appeared on a green hill. He glanced down at Chiron's Academy. Everything looked so peaceful as the cadets went about their duties. It was sickening. He was tempted to stir things up, but Strife sighed. He just wasn't good enough. Whatever he tried on that annoying Hercules always backfired. It wasn't any use. So Strife turned his back on the Academy. He would just have to find someone else to cause misery for. Strife grinned evilly. "Yeah, that's it! I'll make someone else's life miserable! Someone who Hercules and his little Academy buddies doesn't know! It'll be great! And I can blame it all on Hercules!"

Strife's laughter echoed over the green valley.

"But who?" Strife asked himself.

BOOM!

The ground shuddered under the lesser God's feet and Strife fell down. He landed on his back and watched in amazement as a large rock tumbled out of the sky. A trail of dark gray smoke followed the rock as it raced towards the ground. Strife noticed it wasn't going to land nearby, as it zipped downward at an angle going the other way. The Godling jumped to his feet and decided he just had to check this out. In a flash of white light, Strife vanished.

A few moments later, Strife reappeared and whistled. The huge rock had caused lots of damage. It had plowed a deep furrow in the ground along it's mostly straight path. Trees were ripped out of the ground and smashed into tiny bits of jagged wood. The grass and other plants had been ripped up, too. The rock itself was now nestled against a green hill, part of it partly buried. It was roughly circular in shape, or the part that Strife could see anyway. It was also kind of flat on the top and bottom. It was dark gray.

Strife popped out and reappeared right in front of the big rock. He reached out his hands to touch it and quickly yanked his hand back. The darn thing was HOT! The Godling stuck his fingers into his mouth and sucked at his sore fingertips. It wasn't so much that it had actually burned him. As a God Strife was immune to that sort of stuff. It was more the surprise of it. "Hmmm...I wander what you are? I bet I could use you in my plot, once I figure out what my plot is."

Angry voices floated out of the rock to Strife. 

The God of Mischief laughed as he realized people were inside the big rock. People who didn't know him or Hercules. He opened his bag of Skittles and popped a yellow candy into his mouth. The tart taste of lemon exploded over his tongue and the sugar made him hyper.

"Oh, this is going to be so good!" Strife popped out and into the midst of the rock's inhabitants.

Strife stared at his new surroundings in amazement. He had never seen such a place before. He was inside amedium sized room. Little colored lights blinked on the walls. If there were torches, they did a lousy job of providing light. The walls themselves were a flat gray and otherwise unardorned. White squares on the ceiling glowed steadily. There was a table in one corner along with a curved bench. Odd statues sat on the table. Strife figured it was an altar.

He switched his attention to the people in the room with him. There were two men, a woman, a hairy monster and two....things. Strife rubbed his hands together in glee. He had their attention now. He felt their eyes settle on him as shocked expressions formed on their faces. Strife laughed with glee and he struck one of his best poses. He flung one arm up in the air but kept the other at hip level. He twisted his pale face up and opened his mouth. His legs were spread apart for better balance. He gurgled in his throat.

"Who in the heck are you?" The first man asked. He had brown hair and dark eyes. He wore a white shirt with a black vest and black pants. "How did you get on my ship?"

"I am....STRIFE!" Strife laughed and stuck his tongue out at them. "I was sent here by a higher authority. I'm sure you don't know him. Wouldn't want to get the big guy mad at ya, now would you?"

"Oh, this is great!" The woman yelled. She glared angrily at the man in the black vest. "We crash on this planet and now some looney is bugging us! This wouldn'thave happened if you did routine maintenance like you're supposed to!"

"I'm sorry, Princess!" The man yelled back. "But it's kind of hard to do when we're on the run from the Empire!"

"Han," The other man said. He had light brown hair and was dressed all in black. "Maybe we should be more concerned about him." 

Strife popped a green Skittle in his mouth and made loud, disgusting sucking noises. He glanced around the room. Then he turned and headed towards the cockpit. He peered into the tiny room and shrugged his shoulders. "More little lights. Hmmm. You know, I think this place might do nicely. Yeah. 'Course I'd have to redecorate a little."

"This is my ship! Get off!" Han charged at Strife angrily and tried to grab the Godling. He caught Strife around the waist and boldly threw him over his shoulder. Strife struggled. He kicked his legs and beated on Han's back, but it didn't do any good. He couldn't get free. Han pressed a green glass panel and a door opened. Han tossed Strife outside roughly and the God of Mischief landed hard on his back in the torn up dirt. The door started to close. "And stay out!"

Strife picked himself up and laughed. He pulled a red Skittle out of the bag and tossed it high into the air. He watched the candy spin round and round before catching it in his open mouth. He glared at the ship with his dark eyes. "What a total FOOL! He actually thinks he got rid of me. I let him throw me out. Then his misery will be even greater when I return! Woo hoo!"

Strife popped out in a flash of white light and reappeared inside the Millenium Falcon. 

He was sitting on the curved bench with his feet up on the small table. The hairy thing spotted him and Strife wiggled his fingers at the thing. Strife laughed when the big beast growled angrily and told the man with the vest.

Han turned around and saw Strife. "What? You again? I threw you out!"

"You know, I think this place is too drab. It needs some colors, you know?" Strife dumped a handful of Skittles out onto the small table. He picked up one of each color red, orange, yellow, green and purple. Strife looked at the colorful candies and laughed. Then he flung them up into the air and zapped them with a beam of white light. The candies formed a rainbow that snaked its way all over the room. The colors clung to the walls, ceiling and floor until everything was brightly tie-dyed. Strife leaned back in his seat and admired the results of his handiwork. The too-bright mix of colors made his eyes ache. But if he was correct, it would cause Han serious misery!

Han's mouth dropped open in shock. He stared at the horrible mix of colors in outrage. His hands turned into fists and he pulled out his blaster, pointing it at Strife. "That's it! You stepped over the line. You return my ship to the way it was or I'll blast you one."

Strife popped a yellow and a green Skittle into his mouth. "What? Am I supposed to be scared of that thing? Oh, please! I like it this way better. It gives the place some class. I'm sure my worshippers will love it."

"I warned you!" Han yelled.

"Han," Luke interrupted. "Maybe you should think this over. It's obvious he has powers. Maybe he's another Jedi."

"Look, Kid, stay out of this. He insulted my pride! I know what I'm doing. Trust me." Han pointed the blaster directly at Strife's chest. He watched the stranger carefully, but the visitor showed no signs of fear or concern. He just kept throwing the colored objects into his mouth. "Look, I'll give you another chance, just because Luke asked. Take those colors off my ship!"

"NO." Strife replied. 

Han pressed the trigger and blasted Strife with a red beam of energy. Han closed his eyes. He frowned as he thought of the bloody mess he'd have to clean up now. And then Leia would have yet another reason to yell at him. Plus he's have to somehow repaint the entire ship. Uggh. Why did these things always have to happen to him? Han opened his eyes and blinked.

It couldn't be! The man was still alive and eating those things!

"Well, was that it?" Strife asked as he yawned loudly. "My Uncle hits me with more power than that! I barely felt that. It was like a tickle."

Han growled. He turned to Luke. "Kid, do something! Use your powers and get him off my ship!"

"You know, I really don't like your attitude." Strife said as he stood up. He twisted his head sideways and a bone in his neck cracked loudly. He stretched out his arms and wiggled his fingers. "And I don't have to take this from you, you puny mortal! I am the GOD STRIFE! And you all are going to suffer miserrably!"

"Oh my! We are all going to die!" C3PO whined as he held up his golden arms and tried to run into a back room. "Why did you make a local diety angry at us?"

"This is all your fault, Han!" Leia yelled angrily at him. "If I had a coin for each time you said "Trust me, I know what I'm doing" we wouldn't be flying in this Correlian deathtrap!"

Han stuck a finger in Leia's face. "Hey! That's my ship you're talking about!"

Strife laughed and let them have it. A rainbow of colors flew from his palms and zapped each one of them. A rainbow cloud hovered around each person for a second before settling on their clothes and skin. When the cloud faded, they screamed in horror. Their clothes, skin and hair was tie-dyed. Even the droids had been colored.

Luke examined his hands. Colors swirled over his skin and continued under his once black sleeve. His eyes, which were still blue, settled on Strife. Luke knew he couldn't strick out with anger, for that was the Dark Side. But this was too much. He couldn't allow this Strife to terrorize his friends any longer. He pulled out his lightsaber and turned the weapon on. The green blade hummed as he approached Strife. "Take these colors off us."

"Woo hoo! Another new toy!" Strife laughed as he mimicked the humming sound the lightsaber made. Strife jumped up onto the table and wiggled in front of Luke. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Nah-na-nah-na-nah-na! You can't get me!"

"Hit him already!" Han screamed. "I can't stand him! He's driving me crazy!"

Luke swung the glowing green blade right at Strife.

The lightsaber sliced through Strife's middle. Luke watched in shock as Strife kept jirating on the table in front of them. 

"Why isn't he dead?" Han asked in equal shock. 

"I don't know." Luke admited honestly. "The lightsaber went right through him. I know it did."

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Han asked Luke. Han pulled at his tyed-dyed vest in utter horror. "Look how I look! Look at my ship! Look at our skin! We have to do something!"

"Calm down, Han." Luke switched off his lightsaber and hung it at his waist. "Getting upset won't solve anything. In fact, it only made our problems worse. I'm going to do what we should have done in the first place: ask him what he wants."

"I know what he wants! He wants to drive us crazy!" Han screamed.

"And it looks like he's doing a good job at it." Leia stated dryly. The Princess had bright yellow and red swirls on her face while all the colors of the rainbow traveled down her long hair. As a former diplomat of the Senate, Leia was more used to dealing with people in a dignified manner. "Han. Luke is right. By getting angry, you're only exciting this Strife. It's giving him an excuse to cause more....incidents."

"An incident? He turns my ship and everything on it into a horrid mix of colors and you call it an incident?" 

Leia glared at Han. 

"OK. I'll shut up." Han fumed but decided to keep quite for now. 

"We're sorry for attacking you." Luke told Strife. He stepped closer to the table that Strife stood on. "Maybe if you tell us what you want we can reach an agreement. So what do you want?"

Strife leaped down from the table and landed right in front of Luke. "Ah, why did you guys have to make up for? You had a nice little fight going! A little strife goes a long way."

"I'm sure you didn't come here because you want us to fight among ourselves." Luke said paitently. He stretched his mind out toward Strife and tried to read his mind. But his mental inquirey was bounced back by powerful shields. Luke was forced to consider that Strife was actually what he had said he was: a God. The young Jedi had met many creatures and aliens in his travels, but never before anyone who was immune to the blade of a lightsaber. Then there was the little matter of how Strife keeps getting into the ship. "So tell me what you really want."

"All right." Strife stretched out his arms and looked directly at Han. The Godling sensed Han was the most hot-headed and easiest to upset. "I want this ship. This is going to be my new temple. And you are all going to worship me on your hands and knees!"

Han snarled like an animal and jumped toward Strife. "You'll never have my ship! I'll kill you with my bare hands!"

Strife laughed and tossed a lightning bolt at Han. The bolt hit the ex-smuggler on his chest and lifted him off the floor. Han slammed into the far wall and slumped to the colored metal deck. Leia hurried to his side and knelt down. She was relieved when Han opened his eyes and growled in anger. The lightning hadn't been as powerful as they had thought. Han struggled to his feet and walked forward until he was next to Luke.

"You want worshippers, right? And a temple?" Han asked, a sly grin on his brightly colored face. "Well, I know where you can find lots and lots of worshippers."

"Han, what are you doing?" Luke asked as he turned to face his older friend. He noted with concern that Han had that wild look in his eyes. That usually meant that the ex-smuggler had thought up some wild scheme. 

"Trust me, Kid. This will work great. We'll solve two problems at once." Han said.

"Yes," Strife said. He was surprised by Han's sudden shift. "And this is going to be my temple."

"Ah, but you don't want this bucket of broken bolts to be your temple!" Han told Strife. He knelt before Strife and peered upward at him. "A powerful God like you deserves a much bigger and better temple! One with thousands of worshipers! And I know just where you can find such a place."

Strife considered the matter. Uncle Ares had said that if he put mortal fear into the hearts of people, they would worship him and build him a temple. Maybe the lightning had frightened this mortal. And this place was small, now that Han mentioned it. Besides, what did he have to loose? They couldn't harm him or get rid of him anyway.And just think, thousands of worshippers!

"All right. I'll allow you to show me this place." Strife said carefully. "But if I don't like it, I claim this ship as my temple."

"Trust me, you'll love it!" Han replied with a big grin.

"Han, you better know what you're doing!" Leia warned him sternly, her hands on her hips.

"I do. Trust me, Leia." Han turned back to Strife. "Well, I'll take you to your shiny new temple if you help me fix my ship. OK? I'm sure the All Powerful Strife can do that for his lowly servant."

Strife follwed Han around the ship and fixed things with his powers. Strife didn't understand any of the objects, but he got the images out of Han's mind. The Godling couldn't wait to see his new temple and thousands and thousands of worshipers! After the ship was fixed, Han took off and flew up into space. Once he was far enough away, he jumped into hyperspace. Strife relaxed at the table and sucked on his Skittles while the others had a meeting in the cockpit.

"Han, exactly where are you taking Strife?" Luke asked, worried. 

"He's going to win this war for us!" Han told Luke and Leia. "I have it all planned. See, we take him over to the new Death Star and he gets rid of the Emperor for us! You saw the guy. This Strife is unkillable. You can slice him, dice him, blaster him, nothing bothers him at all. It should be easy for him to off the Emperor."

"I don't know, Han." Luke said as his voice trailed off. The young Jedi glanced into the other room and saw Strife was still eating his Skittles. "You'd be putting Strife in charge of a very powerful weapon. I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."

"Luke's right." Leia agreed with her brother. "Then how are we going to get rid of Strife?"

"Well, not that will be the Empire's problem, won't it?" Han said as he checked his controls on the helm. They'd be arriving soon. "Just think. If Strife can drive me crazy, just think what he's do to the Empire! They'd be so busy dealing with him, suddenly us Rebels will be old news. Strife will be the Number One on their Most Wanted list!"

"But what if it backfires?" Luke asked Han. "What if the Empire puts him in charge? Who knows what he might do as the new Emperor?"

Han laughed. "He'd color walls and make the Stormtroopers look like rainbows! Now, I'd rather deal with that kind of Empire than a bloodthirsty one!" 

"I don't know, Han. We know very little about this Strife." Luke admitted. "Who knows what he might do?"

"Stop worrying!" Han climbed out of his seat and walked into the other room. He stopped in front of Strife. "Strife. We're almost at your new temple. Now listen carefully. There's this old man...er, God, that lives there. He calls himself the Emperor. Now if you want this temple for yourself, you got to get rid of him. Understand? He's not as powerful as you, so it should be easy."

"Okie dokie!" Strife laughed as he tossed a red Skittle up into the air. He opened his mouth and caught the candy easily. He looked forward to taking on this lesser God, especially if he could actually win! Chewie brought the ship out of hyperspace and Strife peered out the window at his new temple.

"WOAH!" Strife moaned as he saw the Death Star for the first time. The unfinished battle station hung in space before them like an apple with a bite missing from it. Lights twinkled and glowed. In all his Immortal life, Strife had never seen or even imagined anything so big! Words simply could not describe it. His fingers began to itch as he thought of possessing such a great temple! Not even Zeus had such a groovy place. 

Strife popped out in a flash of white light and reappeared a few moments later in the Emperor's throne room. He spotted the startled Emperor instantly. The old man was sitting in a chair before a round window. Strife struck a pose and twisted his pale face up. "Move over, Grandpa! I'm taking over this place!"

The Emperor rose from his chair and pointed a gnarled hand at Strife. His red eyes glowed and his voice was grated. "Who are you? How did you get in here? Guards! Remove him at once!"

The red dressed Imperial Guards rushed forward to remove the strange intruder.

Strife laughed and tossed a fireball at each Imperial Guard. The Guards were not fast enough and the fireballs struck them on their chests. They screamed and dropped onto the metal floor, rolling around frantically to put out the flames. 

"Imbeciles! I will take care of you myself!" The Emperor stretched out his bony hands and pointed them at Strife. Streaks of electricity leaped from his fingers to Strife's leather clad body. He had never seen anyone make fireballs before, but he didn't want Strife to know that. The Emperor laughed, his mouth open wide to reveal a few blackened teeth. "There is no hope for you. You cannot win over the power of the Dark Side! And now you will die!" 

Strife yawned loudly as the lightning raced over his body. "Gee, is that all you can do, Grandpa? That weak current isn't even knocking me down. I see now why they want me to rule this joint. You don't have what it takes!"

"WHAT?!" The Emperor screamed in anger. His thin body quivered in his dark robe and his hands shook. The lightning poured out faster as more streaks jumped from his fingertips. "How dare you say that! I'm the Emperor! I built this Empire! This is my Death Star! I'm the most powerful person in the entire galaxy! Who are you? Who sent you here?"

Strife grinned at the emotions rolling off the old geezer. He was really getting worked up! "My name is Strife. One of my devoted worshippers told me that the old geezer running this scrap heap wasn't qualified. That would be you, Gramps. So I'm here to fix this place up." 

Strife ignored the electricity and tossed five Skittles up into the air. He zapped them with a bolt of power. The candies transformed into a rainbow that instantly tie-dyed the Emperor's Throne Room. Strife grinned. "There. Now this place looks much better!"

The Emperor screamed in rage. He called on the Dark Side for even more power. The lightning crackled as his output tripled. Smoke drifted upward from his body and the room was filled with the stink of burned flesh. "Die! Die! Why don't you die?"

Strife rolled his dark eyes. He formed a white ball of power in his hands and tossed it at the Emperor. The energy surrounded the Emperor and when it faded a large dark gray rat with red eyes sat on the floor. Strife picked up the startled rat and held it before his face. "I'm a GOD, you idiot! I'm Immortal! I can't die."

The rat squealed and Strife tossed it down an open hole in the Throne Room. He laughed as he watched the rat tumble end over end until it disappeared from sight. Maybe it would end up in Tartarus. 

Strife walked over to his new chair and sat down. He watched the Imperial Guards. They were standing around, uncertain what to do. "All right. I'm your new Emperor. Emperor Strife. You better start worshipping me now. Go tell the others."

One of the Imperial Guards moved to the comlink on the wall near the elevator. He talked into it for a few moments. The Guard then approached Strife and bowed. "Lord Vader is on his way to see you, Sir. He will be here in fifteen minutes."

Four Imperial Stormtroopers talked quietly to each other at their post in one of the lower corridors of the Death Star. Without warning, one was knocked to the ground with a loud clank. Something had fallen on top of the Stormtroopers' black and white metal helmet. 

"Look!" One of the other Stormtroopers called as he pointed at something. A large gray rat crawled off the unlucky sentry and started to scurry down the hall. The Stormtrooper glanced upward towards the ceiling and saw the rat had chewed a hole in the screen over a ceiling vent.

"Blast it before it gets away!" Shouted the leader of the four Stormtroopers. "We're still building this station and already the rodents are moving in! If any of the Command Staff see it..."

The three standing Stormtroopers pulled out their blasters and started shooting at the rat. The rat raced down the hallway as fast as it could, dodging blaster bolts. Its long claws clattered on the floor, leaving tiny scratch marks in the super shiny surface. It reached a corner and slid around it, almost sliding into the far wall. 

"After it!" The three Stormtroopers raced down the hallway after the escaping rat. The last Stormtrooper just climbed to his feet when the comlink buzzed.

"What's going on down there? Why is there blaster fire?" A voice asked.

"We need more men! There's a furry intruder! There may be more of them! It already did some damage to the station! The intruder is heading towards section T-55." The Stormtrooper said.

"Affirmative! I'll send two garrisons!" The voice replied. 

Up in the Throne Room, the elevator doors swooshed open and Lord Vader stepped out. He paused for a moment in shock as he saw the wild blur of bright colors on the floor and walls. There appeared to be no pattern to the color madness. Just swirls of red, orange, yellow, green and purple. His loud breathing increased as realized the man who had replaced the Emperor was actually munching on *food*while sitting on the throne! The man was throwing the tiny items up into the air and catching them in his mouth, of all things! Plus he was sitting on the throne *sideways*, with his legs over one arm! He climbed the stairs slowly and approached Emperor Strife. He didn't know what he was expecting, but Strife was not it. But then, the Emperor had not looked like much, either. 

"Ah, you must be my Head Priest. 'Bout time you got here." Strife said as he sucked noisily on a yellow Skittle. He grabbed Vader's black gloved hand and poured a few Skittles into his palm. "I want more of these things. Go get me lots of them."

Darth Vader lifted his palm closer to his black breath mask and stared at the brightly colored Skittles. There was one of each of the five flavors: orange, grape, strawberry, lime and lemon. He breathed loudly. 

Hoo-pah. Hoo-pah. Hoo-pah. 

"I am Lord Vader." Darth Vader told Strife. "I am not a head priest. I am a Dark Lord of the Sith. What are these colored items?"

"Those are Skittles." Strife told Vader. Strife peered at Vader but stayed in his new throne. "And I am the God Strife. This is my new temple. The Temple of Strife. You are my Head Priest. And if ya know what's good for ya you'll start worshipping me. Or you'll end up like Gramps."

"Who is Gramps?" Vader asked with confusion. "And this is the Death Star."

"That old geezer that had this chair." Strife replied as he reached into the bright red bag for more candies. "He was unqualified to be a God, so I got rid of him. This is the Temple of Strife now."

"Why do you want these colored objects?" Lord Vader asked.

"Because!" Strife replied as he twisted up his face and stuck his tongue out at Vader. He was beginning to get annoyed. "Because I'm a real God now! I have a Temple, I have Worshippers! My worshippers are supposed to give me lots and lots of Skittles! That's what worshippers do!"

"And what are your plans for the Empire?" Lord Vader asked. He had tried to read Strife's mind but had been blocked. On the other hand, he sensed his son Luke was nearby. His Executor Command Staff had spotted the Millennium Falcon near the Death Star and had started to chase it. He had already been on the Imperial Shuttle at the time, on his way to the Death Star. 

"What Empire? You mean Rome?" Strife asked. 

"THIS Empire. The one you now rule." Lord Vader told him. "Surely you knew of the Empire before you assassinated the Emperor. The Empire, is, after all what you wanted."

"Well,..." Strife paused. Running an Empire was lots of responsibility. He never had such an important job before. In fact, he wasn't even too sure what Emperors did. What to tell the Head Priest? Strife's brain whirled around and around. Suddenly he leaped out of the throne as he got an idea. "Taxes! I'll have a Skittles tax! Everyone in the Empire has to pay me the Skittles Tax! It'll go according to how much income they make. The more income, the more Skittles they'll have to give me."

Lord Vader grumbled underneath his mask. 

"Do you think we should make Skittles the National Currency?" Strife asked.

"NO!" Lord Vader cried loudly in panic. This new Emperor was addicted to these Skittle things. It was beginning to get out of control. "We won't be able to build more Star Destroyers with these colored items. I strongly suggest you leave the currency alone."

"OK. What's a Star Destroyer?" Strife asked. "And what's this Imperial Shuttle thing those Red Priests told me about?" 

"Those are not priests. Those are your Imperial Guards." Darth Vader bowed and backed away from Strife. "I must go find you some of these....Skittles."

Darth Vader escaped from the Throne Room as quickly as he could. 

A while later Darth Vader entered the Main Shuttle Bay. He planned on going back to the Executer and think about this new Emperor Strife. Plus he had the extra problem of finding more of these Skittle things. Lord Vader pointed at one of the men that worked in the Shuttle Bay. "Prepare my shuttle for departure."

"I'm sorry, Lord Vader, but Emperor Strife has taken your shuttle out. He said he wanted to inspect his Temple of Strife from the outside." The man in gray trembled.

"Very well. Then prepare another shuttle." Lord Vader told him. 

"Yes, my Lord! Right away!" The man hurried away, giving orders to the others that worked in the Shuttle Bay. They prepared the shuttle and finally Lord Vader climbed aboard. The door closed and the shuttle took off, heading toward the Executer. When he arrived in the Main Shuttle Bay of his Super Star Destroyer, Darth Vader was told that they had captured the Millennium Falcon. "Good. I will go interrogate the prisoners."

The Rebels were locked inside a room. Leia scowled at Han angrily. "This was your stupid idea! It's your fault we got caught!"

"Well, I got rid of Strife, didn't I?" Han asked.

"But we're still rainbow colored!" Luke pointed out to Han. 

"That's not my fault! He was supposed to fix us and my ship!" Han paced the room. His fingers itched for his blaster, but the Stormtroopers had took it from him. "Look, I have another idea. We can use these colors to our advantage. Really."

Princess Leia groaned. "We had enough of your ideas for one day!"

"This idea is great! Really!" Han grinned at Leia, but she didn't return his smile. Instead, she sunk down onto the hard board that served as a bench in their prison cell. After she was seated, Han continued. "These colors make us look different. We can claim to be someone else! Just look at me. I don't look like me anymore."

"That's the most stupid thing I ever heard!" Leia cried. "They can still tell it's us. Finger prints, retina scans, voice prints. Need I go on?"

"Besides, Vader can feel my presence." Luke told Han and the others. "I can feel him right now. He's coming this way. In a few minutes he'll be here. He *knows* who I am. Lying to him wouldn't work."

"Well, I still say it's worth a shot." Han stated. "I don't see you guys coming up with any ideas."

The door swooshed open and Lord Vader stepped into the room. He stopped for a moment and stared at their appearance. The bright swirls of color on their skin, hair and clothes matched the wild colors in the Emperor's Throne Room. Vader clutched the candies tightly in his gloved hand. Now he knew who was responsible for bringing Strife to the Death Star. Vader's voice echoed in the quite room. 

"I see you have already met Emperor Strife."

The Rebels looked at each other but didn't know what to say. They had no idea what Darth Vader had planned for them.

"Do you know what Emperor Strife is doing right now?" Darth Vader asked them.

"No." Luke admitted. "What is he doing?"

"He's flying around and around the Death Star. He took my Imperial Shuttle out, by himself. Without any pilot."

"But he doesn't know how to fly a ship!" Luke exclaimed. "He could crash into the Death Star!"

"It's not the Death Star anymore." Darth Vader complained. "That idiot renamed the Empire's greatest invention and weapon The Temple of Strife. And he wants more of these little colored disks called Skittles. He even passed a Skittles tax. Plus he wanted to make Skittles the National Currency. " Vader opened his hand and showed the Rebels the tiny candies. 

"Well," Han grinned. "I'd say that's *your* problem!" 

Darth Vader waved a black gloved finger in Han's face. "No, it's *your* problem, too. You brought Strife here, to the Death Star. You were the one who told him to destroy the Emperor. And you are still colored. So unless you want to go back into the carbon freeze and stay colored, you will help me to get rid of him."

"And maybe I brought him here because I didn't know of any other way to get him off my ship!" Han yelled back at Vader. "You can't kill the guy! Blast him, lightsaber him, blow him up, I tell you *nothing* works on him. Nothing!"

Hoo-pah. Hoo-pah. Hoo-pah. 

Darth Vader breathed loudly. He didn't like this new information the Rebel had just given him. If Strife was immune to lightsabers, he was truly powerful. That meant he was even more powerful then the Emperor. And he had peered into Han's mind, so he knew the Rebel was telling him the truth. "This is a serious problem. Where did you find this Strife?"

"On some backwater planet." Leia said. "Han had crashed the ship because he never repairs it correctly! Strife just popped out of the air. One minute he was there, eating those Skittle things."

Darth Vader lifted his hand and peered at the Skittles again. "These Skittles seem to be very important to Strife. He desires them greatly. Perhaps they are the source of his powers. If we can find some, we can have the power of Skittles, too. Besides, he ordered that I bring him more."

"Well, then I suggest you better get him some or he might get rid of you, too." Han told Vader with a grin. 

"But where are we supposed to find Skittles?" Asked Luke

PLINK! 

Darth Vader searched around the room for the source of the mysterious sound. The Rebels also glanced around. Han stared up at the ceiling but didn't see anything.

PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINKPLINKPLINKPLINK!!!

Darth Vader and the Rebels stared in shock as brightly colored Skittles rained down from the room's ceiling. The candies bounced off their heads and shoulders, clinking loudly on the metal floor. Leia covered her face as the candies started to fall faster and faster. 

"Where are they coming from?" Luke cried.

A floating ball of rainbow colors appeared in the room. The ball spun around rapidly as it zipped through the air above their startled heads. 

"Skittles! Skittles! Skittles! Skittlesskittlesskittlesskittlesskittles!"

"Who are you?" Luke asked the spinning ball of rainbow colors.

"I'm the Spirit of Skittles!" The entity answered gleefully. It sounded just like a teenage girl and it even giggled like one. "I LOVE Skittles! You can never have too many Skittles! I want to share my Skittles with everyone!"

The colorful candies continued to rain down on Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie and Darth Vader. The were now waist deep in Skittles. The comlink beeped and Vader stretched out his hand towards it. Luckily he was close to the wall and he could reach it. "Yes?"

"Lord Vader!" One of his bridge staff said. "There are colorful objects falling all over the ship! They are on every deck, in every room and hallway! They appear to be coming out of the ceilings, Sir. What shall we do?"

"I will deal with it. Wait for my orders." Lord Vader said into the comlink. Vader tilted his head so he could see the Spirit of Skittles better. The entity spun rapidly and flashed bright colors. And it giggled. "Are you a God? Do you know Strife? Why are you filling my Star Destroyer with Skittles?"

The entity laughed. "Me? A God? Of course not! I'm just a teenage girl that *loves* Skittles! I was known as the Skittles Idiot and I even had my own webpage devoted to Skittles! I wrote Skittles stories and tried to get my friends to write them, too! Most of my friends called me Gabs, though. I even managed to get a few addicted!"

"You don't look like a teenage girl." Luke commented.

"Well, that's because I changed!" Gabs giggled. "I ate Skittles all day and night! I had them for breakfast, lunch and supper. The Wild Berry are my favorite! Then one day my skin changed colors! Rainbow colors were swirled on my skin. Even my blonde hair changed. It was so cool! It was kind of tough going to school like that though, so I didn't. I just stayed home and was on the Internet all day!"

Han's stomach twisted and he felt hot. Sweat poured off his forehead into his eyes. "You mean you looked like this?" He held up his tye-dyed arm for Gabs to see.

"Exactly!" Gabs said as she zipped down by Han. She circled around each Rebel rapidly as she examined them. "I see you guys were eating *lots* of Skittles!"

"But we didn't eat any." Luke replied. "Strife put these colors on us."

"I got a bad feeling about this." Han said. "What happened after you turned all these colors?"

"Well, it was really cool!" Gabs said as she zipped back up near the ceiling. "I became this round ball of colored lights. And I could control the Skittles Rainbow! Plus I didn't have to go to school anymore! Now I fly around giving *everyone* Skittles! You can never have too many Skittles!"

"But we can't turn into colored balls!" Princess Leia exclaimed loudly. "We have a war to fight! We have a galaxy to save!"

The Skittles continued to fall from the ceiling and now the candies reached their chests. The klaxon started to blare loudly and red warning lights blinked. The intercom buzzed and Vader turned it on with the Force.

"Lord Vader! The ship is too heavy! The colored things are getting in all the machinery! What should we do?" The bridge officer yelled in panic. 

"Take these Skittles off my ship NOW!" Lord Vader commanded.

"But you wanted Skittles! I heard you!" Gabs replied as she spun rapidly around and around. "Besides, you can never have too many Skittles! Skittles make you happy!"

"I have an idea." Han said as he shoved the Skittles away from himself. 

Leia groaned loudly and glared at Han. "Not another idea! You're the one that started this whole terrible mess! You had to get that Strife angry at us and look at the results!"

"And if you be quite I'll solve it, too!" Han smiled. "In fact, this idea will solve ALL of our problems, even this Skittles one. Now here is my idea..."

The Rebels, Darth Vader and even Gabs listened to Han's idea. After thinking it over, Lord Vader decided to go along with it. What choice did he have? He wanted his ship to be Skittle-free and to have the Death Star the Death Star once again. "This idea better work!" Vader said.

Han only grinned. "Trust me."

Darth Vader asked Gabs to move all the Skittles into a special Cargo Ship. This ship was designed so it could land on the surface of a planet. It was an older vessel that the Empire had confiscated from a smuggler a few years ago, so he didn't care about losing it very much. He would rather give up the cargo ship than his Star Destroyer! Gabs happily moved all the Skittles into the other ship until it groaned from the weight of the candies. Han swore that the metal sides were bulged, but no one believed him!

The Rebels and Lord Vader journeyed to the Temple of Strife on the Imperial Shuttle. Once there, they took the elevator up to the Throne Room. Emperor Strife was back and the Godling lounged in his new chair. "So, did you get me my Skittles?"

"Yes, Emperor Strife." Lord Vader said as he bowed before the Godling. "We have an entire ship full of Skittles for you. We thought you might want to move there, to be closer to your Skittles. There are so many of them they cannot all fit here, in your Temple of Strife."

"Hmmm...I don't know." Strife said as he rubbed his chin. He twirled the chair around and around. "I really like this chair! It's so much cooler than my Uncle Ares' throne! I mean, his throne is neat and all with those carvings, but this one moves!"

"We can move the chair." Han offered quickly. "It'll be easy."

The Rebels held their breath as they all hoped Strife would agree. If he didn't, they'd have to think of a new plan. But if Skittles couldn't get Strife off the Death Star, what could? 

"You'll like the Skittles ship better." Luke told Strife. "Your worshippers could visit you more easily there. Plus the ship can move from place to place so *all* of your worshippers can have a chance to see you in person. This Temple has to stay here. It's too big and heavy to move."

"Yeah," Agreed Han. "And what about all these colors on us? You said you'd remove them once we found you a Temple. Well, we found you TWO temples!"

Before Strife could answer, a bluish-white light appeared. When the flash of light vanished, Ares snarled at them. He pulled his sword from its scabbard and stepped forward.

"SO YOU ARE THE ONES WHO KIDNAPPED STRIFE! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO SUFFER SOME SERIOUS MISERY!"

"What?" Stuttered Han in shock. 

Before anyone could move or utter another word, Ares waved his hand and they all vanished. Some time later, Han blinked his eyes as he woke up. His arms ached and his throat was dry. He tried to rub his sleep-filled eyes but realized his hands were manacled to a cold stone wall. The dampness leaked through his shirt and vest, chilling his skin until he shivered. Han lifted his head and saw he was trapped in some sort of dungeon. Torches lit the room with a flickering weak light. As far as he could tell, the room was windowless. He turned his head and moaned at the pain in his stiff neck. His friends were there with him, each chained to the wall. Even Lord Vader was trapped. Han snickered at the idea of Darth Vader being treated like a Rebel! Well, on the bright side it would be easier to escape if they had two Jedi on their side!

The others stirred and soon woke up. Leia glared angrily at Han as she realized she was chained up in a dungeon. "Han Solo, this all your fault! You and that rust bucket you call a ship!"

"Well, I'm sorry your Royal Highness! I just don't like intruders on my ship!" Han told her. He frowned. Was Leia never going to forgive him for this stuff with Strife? "How was I supposed to know he was a real God with powers?"

"Stop arguing you two. We need to get out of here." Luke said. He used the force and the manacles around his wrist popped open. There was a second pop as Vader freed himself. Before the two Jedi could take a step to free the others, a flash of white light blinded them. When it faded, a girl in black leather stood before them. She smiled at them, her dark eyes twinkled. She had long smooth black hair that cascaded down her back.

"Hmmm, and where do you think you're going?" She asked in a sweet voice. "We just met. I'm Discord and I'm going to make your lives miserable!"

"How many of these people are there?" Luke asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Discord replied with a snarl. "My brother is very angry at you for kidnapping his favorite nephew. That's a big no-no. And I'm mad, too!" 

"Look, we did not kidnap him!" Han blared out. "He came on my ship and I couldn't get rid of him! He wouldn't go away!"

"And why should I believe you?" Discord asked. She strolled over to a table and examined the items on it. Her hand hovered over the items. "Now what shall I start with?"

Not too far away, Strife admired his new Temple of Strife. They had popped the Skittles filled cargo ship back to Greece. It was now parked in a green valley not too far away from Chiron's Academy. Strife now knew and highly valued the Power of Skittles. The Godling laughed and rubbed his hands together in glee as he imagined the serious misery he could now cause for the cadets with his huge supply of candy. The riot of colors seemed to drive people mad, especially when he used it on the mortals themselves! Strife munched on a handful of Skittles and dreamed of a future scheme. 

"Oh, Uncle Ares, you were right!" Strife said to himself as he leaned back against the metal side of his new temple. "When I caused serious misery for the right bunch of mortals, they did give me a temple and Skittles!"

The End


	2. The Cronos Stone

The Cronos Stone

"Han, this is all your fault!" Leia accused from where she was chained to the damp stone wall. Thick iron manacles gripped her wrist and her arms ached from being held over her head for so long. "Look at us! We've been trapped in this dungeon for who knows how long and we'll never get out of here, not with that crazy Discord around!"

"Well, I'm sorry Princess! How the heck was I supposed to know there was more of them people like Strife? I thought there was just him! I bet my plan would have worked if it was just him."

"Oh please!" Leia rolled her brown eyes. "Your plans never work!"

"Would you two please stop arguing? It's not going to help us get out of here." Luke pleaded to his two friends. "We should keep a positive outlook. I'm sure we've been in worse spots than this."

"Yeah? When?" Han grumbled. He twisted his head so he could look at Luke, who was chained next to him. "Kid, I hate to do this but it's time to face the facts. If HE can't get out of here how are we supposed to?"

Luke stared at his father, Darth Vader. When Vader had first told him the truth about his parentage Luke had dearly wanted to believe it was a twisted lie, but deep in his heart he knew otherwise. For whatever reason his father Anakin Skywalker had become Darth Vader, the second most feared man in the galaxy. Being older and more fully trained, Vader had more skills with the Force, even if it was of the Dark Side. At the moment the Rebels would even gladly accept help from a Sith Lord to escape this place. They had been able to open the restraints around their wrists but then Discord showed up and had done something. Now no matter what they tried the things just wouldn't open. "Han, you can't loose faith. The Force works in mysterious ways and I'm sure something will happen that will allow us to leave this place."

"Ha! You're even more delusional than I am!" Han retorted as he tried to stretch his arm muscles just a bit to relieve some of the aches. "So, any ideas what these people are? I mean, are they super-powerful Jedi or what?"

"Father? Any ideas?" Luke asked, curious as to what Vader would say.

Since Discord had left, Darth Vader had been meditating on that very question. It had been a long time since he had meditated. It had been a favorite pastime of his old master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kenobi had wasted hours upon hours pondering the most bizarre things, like the sun rising and dew on the grass. Anakin had just thought it all very boring and a big waste of time. Why should he be meditating when he could be flying in the garbage pit races, surviving on sheer reflexes alone? Of course, he had almost got kicked out of the Jedi Order for that illegal hobby. But even back then the spineless Council hadn't the nerve to throw out the Chosen One. Which brings around the biggest question of all: do gods really exist? 

"I have never heard of Jedi with such powers." Vader finally replied. "If the Jedi Council knew of such beings they never mentioned it to me, but perhaps the information was classified. Perhaps they really are gods as they claim.'

"Yeah, right!" Han snorted. "Like gods are going to have dungeons, hold people captive and make us all rainbow colors! They're more like spoiled brats if you ask me."

"Han is right. Gods should be wise." Luke tilted his head sideways, listening. "Quite! I think I hear something."

A few moments later a man they had never seen before appeared. He wore a pale green tunic and a brown leather vest with matching brown leather gauntlets around both wrists. The brown hair on his head was short and he sported a thick mustache along with a tiny goatee just under his bottom lip. He appeared to be in his late twenties or early thirties. He strolled into the middle of the dungeon and glanced around. "Er, you're the strangest bunch of people I've ever seen. Well, guess I'll be going now."

"Wait!" Luke cried as he saw the man starting to leave. "You got to help free us!"

"And get Ares mad at me?" the man asked, laughing. "Boy, have you got the wrong man! I just snuck down here because I heard rumors that he had some rare stuff I could steal. But I didn't know it was people."

"You're a thief?" Leia asked, shocked. "How did you get down here with those strange and powerful people around? Like that Discord?"

"Discord? Ha! I could beat her butt any day!" He bragged, a wide grin on his face. "You should have seen the time I turned her into a chicken! Of course, Ares got his revenge on me later… but that's all water under the bridge."

"YOU WILL FREE US." Vader said with his most forceful voice, putting all his Dark Side powers into the command.

Still taking his good-natured time, the man strolled until he stood in front of Darth Vader. "Well, well, well, what do we got here? You're a big one, aren't you? A warlord I'm guessing from all that black armor. But warlords rarely faze me. Well, there's this one and when she has that look in her eyes…" He shivered from the memory.

Vader would have sighed if his breathing apparatus had allowed it. The man was obviously not weak-minded. 

"Look, you want rare stuff? I got plenty!" Han smiled his most crooked grin. "You get us out of here and I'll give you all you want! Stuff you never saw before. Magic stuff!"

"Magic stuff, huh? Guess I could always use a few more magic items." Bending low from the waist with a theatrical bow, he introduced himself. "I'm Autolycus the King of Thieves at your service."

"Can you get the keys?" Leia asked, eager to get out of the dungeon and breath fresh air once again.

"Keys?" Autolycus laughed. "My dear lady, I don't need keys! Keys are for amateurs. I assure you I'm a professional and I have earned my title."

"Oh great." Leia muttered quietly. "We're in the company of a professional thief."

"Leia, he can help us." Luke reminded his sister. Stretching out the Force towards Autolycus, the Jedi took a reading of him. Although he was a thief, Luke got a strong sense of goodness from him. So he was a bit of a rogue, like Han.

Reaching into his belt, Autolycus pulled out a set of lock picks. His hands flew around the manacles with amazing speed and within seconds they were all free. 

"Wow! You did that really fast!" Luke commented as he tried to rub some life into his arms and hands. "We're very grateful for your help."

"Yeah, now if you can get us home I'll give you that magic stuff." Han grinned.

Leia grabbed Han's arm and pulled him on the side. "Han, what are you doing? We don't have any magic stuff! You're just going to get us into more trouble!"

"Relax, sweetheart. I know what I'm doing. Really!" Han promised as he held Leia in his arms to comfort her. "Look, these are primitive people. I'll just give him a few high tech items. He'll think it's magic. Then we'll be back home safe and sound and things will return to normal."

Leia pulled away from Han slightly, gazing into his brown eyes while her own eyes flashed. "You had better know what you're doing! Because every time you say that things get worse!"

"They can't get any worse than they are." Han assured her, still grinning. Leia had such a fiery temper and she called him all those little pet names like 'nerf herder', but how she loved him! He didn't know why she worried so much. Now that he was free things didn't look so bleak anymore and his cocky attitude was back full strength. Besides, this new guy was one of his kinds of people and that he knew how to deal with.

"I suggest we get out of here quickly before Discord returns." Luke kept an eye on the stone staircase that led out of the dungeon, an ear listening for the slightest sound.

"Yes, I need to return to the Empire. Now that Palpatine is gone it's imperative that I return to run things." Vader held out a black-gloved hand to his son. "Come with me, Luke. We could rule the galaxy together, put an end to this war."

"What Empire? You mean Rome?" Autolycus asked, confused. "Where you guys from anyway?"

"How are we going to get off this planet?" Luke asked, the thought first now accurring to him. "They don't have any spaceports or advanced technology. The first time we had the Falcon…"

"Which is still parked in the hangar bay of the Executor." Vader finished, the full weight of the problem falling on his shoulders. There had to be a way off this miserable planet! His gaze shifted off Luke onto the thief. "I don't suppose you have any powers?"

"Well, I got this little green stone." Autolycus reached into his clothing and pulled out a chunk of green crystal. He held it in his palm so they could all see it. The size of a chicken egg, the stone glowed a soft mossy green color. 

"Oh great!" Leia muttered sarcastically. "How's that going to help us get home?"

"Wait, I sense incredible powers emanating from it." Luke closed his eyes and concentrated on the stone. "The powers are off the scale! I never felt anything like it before!"

Doing the same as his son, Vader also concentrated on the stone. The flux and flow of Force powers around the stone was boggling to the mind. The lines of power were all tangled and collapsing in on itself, like a black hole. He was sure that with this stone in his possession he could become a god, presuming the stone didn't kill him first. "Luke is right. And I believe this stone may be even more powerful than those god-like beings, if that's possible."

Han's mouth dropped open in shock. "That little stone? It just looks like some old rock."

"Ah, but this is the Cronos Stone!" Autolycus grinned as he closed his fist around it. "And don't any of you even think of swiping it from me! I got great heists planned for this baby. Now tell me where you want to go and I'll take you there so I can collect the magic items you promised me. See, legend says this stone is part of the famous Cronos Stone, created by Cronos himself! Of course, that was way back before man existed and the Titans ruled the Earth. Cronos himself was a Titan. They were giants of sort but they had great powers. Cronos was the ruler of the whole Earth back in those days. He had a wife and every time she had a child old Cronos would eat it."

"That's disgusting!" Leia twisted her face up, sick from the thought of a father actually eating his own child.

"Why would he do such a thing?" Luke asked.

"Because there was a prophecy." Autolycus explained. "It said that one day a son of Cronos would kill him and take his throne. So Cronos wasn't going to take any chances. One day his wife bore another son but she was tired of all her children getting eaten by their father. So she wrapped a rock in baby's clothing and Cronos swallowed it whole, never checking. The real baby she smuggled down to Earth's surface where other's brought it up in secret. When the baby grew to a full size man, he came back and killed his father. Upon Cronos' death all the other children he had eaten sprung forth from his dead body full grown and alive once more. That baby became Zeus, King of the Gods. During the War between the Gods and the Titans the Cronos Stone was broken and this is one of the fragments."

"That's an incredible story." Luke replied calmly, his mind contemplating the fact that all of it just might be true. The idea was staggering!

"Can the Stone take us to Coruscant?" Darth Vader asked.

"Well, I guess so. It time travels, you know." Autolycus explained. "That's its power: control over time. I don't see why it can't go to this Coryscanty…"

"Coruscant." Vader repeated. "It's one of the Core Worlds."

"Yeah, whatever." Autolycus held the stone ready in one fist as his mind went over the directions he had studied for using the stone. Actually, it was quite simple but he wasn't going to tell these guys that. If he wasn't mistaken, Big Black Warlord already wanted the Stone for himself! "Now everyone hang onto each other and then we can go."

They all gathered around Autolycus and gripped either his arms or put a hand on his shoulder. There was a bright flash of light and then the dungeon was empty. They were on their way, but to where was anyone's guess.

******

Meanwhile on Coruscant an important meeting was going on in the Supreme Chancellor's office. Palpatine sat behind his huge desk made of rare wood while the others attending had recently arrived. Jedi Masters Yoda and Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Anakin Skywalker and Senator Padme Amidala.  

"Against this threat, upon the Jedi Knights falls this duty to lead the newly formed Army of the Republic." Yoda said about the recently started Clone Wars. 

"Yes, I agree." Chancellor Palpatine smiled at the little green alien that was simply called Yoda. The more Jedi that were in the front of the battles, the more Jedi would be killed. All was going as he had foreseen and no one suspected him at all. 

"Disturbance in the Force, sense I." Yoda suddenly said. "Ominous, growing closer it does."

"What is it?" Mace asked his long time friend.

"Difficult to tell, it is." Yoda replied as he closed his eyes to better focus on the disturbance. "Swirling, it is. Growing nearer, it does."

Suddenly a bright flash of light filled the Supreme Chancellor's office. Mace and Obi-Wan flung arms up to shield their eyes from the light while Palpatine ducked behind his desk. Anakin stepped boldly in front of his new wife to shield her from this unknown threat, if it was a threat. Wind tugged at hair and clothing as it blew outward from the strange phenomena that now filled the center of the room. When the light faded, everyone was shocked to see a group of people standing where no people had stood before.

"Well, here we are. Coruscant." Autolycus said as he glanced around with interest. "I'll collect my reward and then I'll be on my way."

Han only needed a moment to realize they were in the wrong time period. The gaggle of Jedi in robes standing near by was evidence enough. He turned to Autolycus. "You idiot! You brought us to the wrong time period!"

"You wanted Coruscant, this is Coruscant. Now stop yakking and give me my magic items and they better be good ones, too!" Autolycus turned his back on Han and started strolling around the room, taking in the plush red carpets on the floor, the huge windows behind Palpatine's desk with the breathtaking views of the city's skyscrapers, the expensive furniture. "Hmmm, I could get used to a place like this."

Palpatine slowly poked his head above the desk again, shock clear on his pale face. This wasn't supposed to happen! Why hadn't he foreseen such a major event? Rising to his feet, Palpatine cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Excuse me, but who exactly are you people?"

Darth Vader was too busy staring at his younger self to even hear Palpatine's voice. And was that Padme hiding behind … himself? This was getting way too bizarre! How could he be in two places at once? 

Approaching the group of Jedi, Autolycus stopped in front of Yoda. Bending down with a big grin on his face, he reached out a finger to tickle his chin. "Aahh, look at the itty bitty green baby! Choochy-choochy-coo!"

"A baby, I not!" Yoda whacked Autolycus on the head with his gimmer stick. "Jedi Master, I be."

"Well, excuse me!" Autolycus brushed past Anakin and used the distraction to pickpocket the lightsaber off his belt.  He paused for a moment in front of Palpatine's desk, the lightsaber in his hands. "Hmm, I wonder what this thing is?"

"My lightsaber!" Anakin cried spotting his weapon in the stranger's hands. "Give me that back, you thief!"

"That's King of Thieves to you!" Autolycus twisted his body sideways so Anakin couldn't snatch the weapon back. 

"Master, he stole my lightsaber!" Anakin complained to Obi-Wan.

"Now you listen here, you give that lightsaber here!" Mace demanded. The last thing they needed was some unknown maniac running around with a lightsaber.

Anakin dashed at Autolycus, his arms stretched out to tackle him to get his weapon back. The fact that the guy had stolen it off his belt without him even knowing it burned. 

"Ally-opp!" Autolycus flipped right over all the Jedi's heads. Landing on his feet, he ran full speed towards the far wall. Anakin skidded to a halt, turned around and chased after the thief. But his mouth dropped open when Autolycus ran right up the wall, pulled a grappling hook from somewhere inside his clothing, flung the hook so it caught around the chandelier and then swung on the attached rope. Before anyone could blink he had shimmied up the rope and was resting atop the chandelier.

And he still had the lightsaber!

"What…?" Anakin gaped open-mouthed at the thief up on the ceiling. "Master, how did he do that?"

"That's what I'd like to know." Mace said, his chocolate eyes staring up at the newcomer. "You come down from there right now!"

Autolycus brought the lightsaber to his mouth and tasted it. Frowning, he sighed. "Worthless! All right, Baldy. You want it, here it comes!"

The lightsaber fell through the air and landed right on Mace's baldhead. The Jedi Master saw an entire nebula of stars before he passed out. Obi-Wan managed to catch him before he hit the floor and he lowered him down gently.

"I demand to know what is going on here!" Supreme Chancellor Palpatine almost screamed. That got everyone's attention and they turned to look at him, all except for Mace who was snoozing on the plush red carpet with a bump on his head.

Autolycus leaped down from the ceiling to land easily on Palpatine's desk. "I am Autolycus the King of Thieves and I'm from the planet Earth!"

To be continued….

Author's Note: I wrote the original story in 2001 (chapter 1) and I decided to write a sequel, "The Cronos Stone". Instead of posting it as a separate story, I just decided to add it here as another chapter so you have the opportunity to read both.

Footnote: Vader's memory of flying in the illegal garbage pit races is from the novel "Rogue Planet", my favorite prequel SW novel.  


	3. The Forbidden Planet

The Cronos Stone 2

"Earth, did you say?" Master Yoda asked the young man rudely standing on Palpatine's desk. 

Autolycus leaped down and landed on the scarlet carpet. "I did. What's it to you, Shorty? You got a problem with that?"

"Forbidden Planet, Earth is! Decided long ago, Jedi Council has. Dangerous, it is!" Yoda peered up at the human standing before him. "Get off Earth, how did you?"

"Huh?" Wrinkles appeared on Autolycus' forehead as he narrowed his eyes on Yoda. 'You listen here you little green twerp, you better start talking normal so I can understand whatever it was you just said!"

"How did you get off Earth?" Obi-Wan repeated Yoda's question so Autolycus could understand it.

"With my Cronos Stone." Autolycus replied. The doors to the Chancellor's Office swooshed open and the two droids came in. The thief's eyes opened wider at the sight of C-3PO and R2-D2. "Hey, now that's more like it! A solid gold walking statue, bet I could get a lot of dough for that baby." 

"You stay away from my droid!" Anakin insisted as he realized the thief was now after C-3PO. 

"You watch it, Braid-Boy. You're dealing with a professional here." Autolycus warned the Padawan as he tried to get past the three Jedi to inspect the fascinating droids. He couldn't even imagine what price the thing would sell at. Hmm, best to hold an auction and sell it to the highest bidder. Of course, it would be invitation only with the filthy rich collectors he knew attending. 

"Hey!" Han Solo butted in, forcefully squeezing his way between Obi-Wan and Anakin. "Somebody better take these colors off of me! And I want my ship back!"

Yoda turned his attention to Han Solo. "How get these colors on you?"

"My ship crashed on this planet and before I knew it this guy called Strife came along and he wanted my ship for a temple. So I told him no. He of course didn't understand that so I was forced to take him to the second Death Star where he killed the Emperor…"

Palpatine started coughing and quickly gulped down a glass of water.

"…So we got these colors on us and this guy here," Han pointed a finger at Autolycus. "Brought us to the wrong time period!"

"Landed on Earth, did you?" Yoda asked Solo.

"I guess. How the heck do I know what planet it was?" Solo complained. He had hoped the Jedi Master would know how to fix the mess, but it was becoming clear he would most likely be stuck with the annoying colors for who-knew-how-long. 

"Broke quarantine, you did." Yoda replied as he shook his head sadly. "Enough problems we have, not need others we do."

"Master Yoda, why is Earth quarantine?" Luke asked as he stepped forward. 

"Super beings, live there. Think they are gods, they do. Dangerous, their powers are. Wild and out of control, their behavior is. For long time forgotten, rest of the galaxy they have. But awaken by one ship of fools, they have! Dark times for all, it is!" Yoda pointed his gimmer stick at Han. "Bring this about, you did! Buoy we had planted in orbit, we did. Warned all ship away, it did! Why you no listen?"

"Because I was crashing!" Han retorted angrily. "I was getting shot at by a stupid Star Destroyer! What the heck do you expect me to do?"

"Decide what we're going to do with newcomers, we must." Yoda sighed. "Suspect it's more confusing, I do."

"I have a bad feeling about this." Luke whispered to Leia and Darth Vader. "Should Han be blurting out all that stuff about future events? Won't he screw up history or something?"

"I honestly don't know." Princess Leia admitted as she watched Han talk to the little green alien. "The only thing I do know for certain is that every time he does something it all gets worse!"

"Father? Do you have an opinion?" Luke asked as he looked up at his father's black breath mask.

"How can I be in two places at the same time? It's a very unsettling feeling." Darth Vader continued to stare at his younger self. To be that young and carefree again! Of course at the time he hadn't felt carefree at all but stuck under Obi-Wan's thumb. But seeing himself brought back so many memories! To be free of the breath-mask and black body armor, to be free of the painful burns from that fateful day, to be able to breath on his own without constant life support! And to have Padme!

Luke followed his father's gaze to the young man standing next to Han Solo. "Is that really you, Father?"

"Yes, when I was young and before the … accident. It was the accident that forced me to forever where this mask so I can breath. It almost killed me…" Darth Vader explained to his son. "You also see a younger Obi-Wan and the one snoozing on the floor is Jedi Master Mace Windu."

But Leia was staring at someone else, a cold dark light in her eyes. "Is that Palpatine?"

"Yes," Vader admitted. "I had trusted him, although Obi-Wan told me he was corrupt. But Palpatine praised me and kept telling me I'd be the most powerful Jedi ever. I liked hearing what he said, so I didn't want to believe Obi-Wan."

"If we kill him now, we could prevent so many needless deaths later, prevent the Empire from rising…." Leia whispered, almost afraid to say the words.

"I don't know, Leia. It sounds like assassination." Luke whispered back, but the idea was in his head, too, now that Leia had voiced it. It sounded so easy and it would probably be of the Dark Side. "We would have to prove him guilty and I bet he covered his tracks very well. If we sink to his level we'd be just as guilty as he is."

Leia shook her head sadly. "That's the trouble with being on the good side, you have to follow all the rules while the bad guys can do whatever they please. They run out ahead while you're mired down in law books and by your own conscious."

But Leia talking about Palpatine had given Luke another idea. What if they really could alter events? Could they save their father from that accident somehow? Or if they did, would things in their own time period grow worse somehow? The truth is they had no real idea how changing any event would affect their own reality. Perhaps they had already changed things by being here. But what choice did they have? They hadn't meant to come to this time period. 

Anakin couldn't help staring at the newcomers. For some odd reason, he felt he should know them. The young man and woman reminded him of someone, even if they did have all those odd colors on themselves. But who did they remind him of? He wasn't sure. He was confident he would be able to figure it out in time, but he had to keep most of his mind focused on Autolycus. If he didn't, he'd be robbed blind!

Hearing Yoda talk of some forbidden planet with god-like beings was fascinating! He probably wasn't even cleared to have the information, but luckily he had been in the right place at the right time. No doubt it was reserved for only boring Council members. 

And the man Autolycus himself was fascinating, too. Reaching out with the Force, Anakin examined him. As far as he could tell, the man didn't have the Force so how had he done that amazing feat of running up the wall like that? And wasn't it supposed to be impossible to pickpocket a Jedi? Yet he had done it so easily!

Mace stirred on the floor and his eyes opened. Sitting up, he rubbed at his sore head. Twisting around, he quickly spotted Autolycus and begun to climb to his feet. "You! You're in big trouble!"

Autolycus raised one eyebrow. "Hey, it's not my fault if you can't catch a shiny stick. Baldy."

"My name is not 'Baldy'. It's Jedi Master Mace Windu." Mace shook a finger at him. "And that so-called 'shiny stick' is a Jedi's weapon, his lightsaber. Only Jedi are supposed to have them. A lightsaber is very dangerous and takes years and years of practice to master. It's not a toy! You're not supposed to go stealing them!"

"It's worthless if you ask me." Autolycus leaned back against Palpatine's desk, his forearms resting on the smooth wooden surface. "If you want a weapon, you should get yourself a nice solid sword. And unless you plan on throwing those metal sticks at people's heads, you're not going to get far in battles. And if you don't mind me pointing out, you don't look much like a warrior."

"We're keepers of the peace, not warriors." Mace explained. "And these 'shiny sticks' are swords. They're energy swords."

Autolycus laughed. "Where I come from, the best peace-keepers are the ones that go around bashing heads in. And from what I'm seeing, Buddy, you're not up to the job."

Before another argument could start, Padme stepped forward. "Perhaps we should be glad that no one was seriously injured. It's obvious that our visitor here is a stranger and doesn't know our ways or what things are. Our customs are no doubt strange to him. We should put the incident behind us and work towards a common peace."

"My Lady, you enlighten us commoners with your words." Autolycus bowed to Padme and handed her a red tulip he had plucked out of his sleeve. 

"Thank you." Padme accepted the flower; less it cause another diplomatic incident.

 Anakin stared daggers at the thief but dare say nothing. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to find out about his secret marriage to the beautiful Senator.

"Where is he getting all that stuff from?" Obi-Wan whispered to his Padawan, their heads close together. 

Palpatine slumped in his chair grumpily, sour that this upstart had stolen everyone's attention from him. Worse, he couldn't get the thought that someone had killed him in the future out of his head. Something would have to be done and quickly. If these visitors told the Council and Senate what he was planning on doing … had done … that could ruin everything! All his years of patiently waiting and scheming would be for nothing! But what was this about a Forbidden Planet? He had never run across that particular tidbit in the Jedi Library. Perhaps it was another threat. But the immediate threat was the visitors, they and all their odd colors, so he'd have to take care of them first.

"Alas, you remind me of my dear Cupcake." Autolycus said to Padme. "She was a real beauty and I loved her with all my heart. But she deserved better than the life I could give her so she married the Prince."

"Excuse me," Mace broke in. "But we need to make a decision here on what we're going to do with you people. It's obvious some of you are from the future and you, Autolycus, are from…?"

"The Forbidden Planet, he is." Yoda told Mace what he had missed while laying unconscious on the floor.

Mace frowned. "We'll assign you guest quarters for now and try to straighten this mess out later. The Council needs to meet and discuss this. Each one of you will have the opportunity to speak to the Council to say what you want to, but for now please be patient. Obi-Wan, I want you and your Padawan to keep an eye on Autolycus here so he won't get into any more trouble. And please make sure he doesn't get his hands on any more lightsabers!"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan bowed to Master Windu.

"But what about Padme?" Anakin asked. "She still needs protecting!"

"You'll just have to do both." Mace told him. 

"I don't like this, Master." Anakin complained to Obi-Wan as they left the Supreme Chancellor's office. "Why should we have to watch him for? He stole my lightsaber; made of fool of Master Windu, insulted Master Yoda and I think he wants to steal my droid. Worse, he flirted with Padme!"

"It's not our place to question our orders, my very young apprentice." Obi-Wan walked down the corridor; one gray eye making sure Autolycus was following them. "A Jedi does not choose certain assignments but accepts what is given him. Our duty is to serve the Council. Perhaps he is important because he's from that Forbidden Planet."

"Well, I am curious about that." Anakin admitted. "But how can we watch him and keep Padme safe at the same time? The last time that changeling bounty hunter almost killed her! I'd much rather protect her than him."

"Mind your manners, Anakin! He's our guest." Obi-Wan reprimanded him with a stern look. 

"I'm sorry, Master. It's just that …"

"You're feeling jealous." Obi-Wan finished for him. He could feel his padawan's warring emotions through their training bond. "I don't have to tell you such emotions are of the Dark Side. You must learn to control yourself, Anakin. Besides, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it at all. He probably flatters all pretty woman so he can steal their jewelry when they're not looking."

Anakin laughed.

Obi-Wan paused in the hallway, glancing behind them. Autolycus was nowhere to be seen. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know, Master." Anakin admitted. "He was right behind us a moment ago."

"Well, be better start looking for him. The Jedi Temple is large and who knows what sort of trouble he could get into."

Sighing, Anakin started backtracking their path. At this rate, he'd never get to spend any quality time with his wife!

A short time later they found the King of Thieves admiring a large golden statue next to a spiraling staircase. The statue showed a Jedi in long robes levitating a large round ball above one hand. 

"Thinking of stealing it?" Obi-Wan asked, amusement in his eyes. "Well, don't. It's too big for even you to steal I'm sure."

"Ha! That shows how well you know me." Autolycus laughed. "I was just thinking of the good old days back on Earth. One of my competitors stole a statue three times the size of this one and I returned it to its rightful place in the public square. Not a single sole saw me return it, either. Everyone thought it was a miracle. And that, my friend, is why I'm the King of Thieves."

"Because you returned it?" Anakin asked.

"No! Because I did the impossible!" Autolycus replied. He glanced one last time at the statue, and then started down the hallway. "Come on, let's get going."

"Alert Security to have a camera watching the statue and all others like it." Obi-Wan told his apprentice.

"Yes, Master." Anakin grinned as he went to a comlink on the wall. It was good to know that his Master didn't trust Autolycus, either. At least they agreed on something. 

As they continued down the hallway, Obi-Wan had a problem to deal with, mainly what to do with Autolycus. They could take him to a guest room and lock him in, but for some reason Obi-Wan felt that wouldn't work in Autolycus' case. Technically, it should hold him just fine as the man knew nothing of modern technology but he wasn't going to underestimate him, either. Something told him the man was as slippery as some of the fried food Dex served at his diner. So either they could take him to their own quarters or to the Senator's apartment. Since it was best to keep a thief away from temptation, their sparsely decorated quarters would be best. The Council would probably reach a verdict soon and then Autolycus would be out of their hair. He might even leave on his own with that stone he had, going back wherever he had come from. Coming from such a primitive planet into their modern society must be a real shock to him. Oddly enough, he didn't look shocked at all. Surely seeing aliens like Yoda should be scary. True, the Jedi Master wasn't very frightening looking, but there were other aliens around. A part of Obi-Wan's mind couldn't help wondering what the Forbidden Planet must be like that Autolycus showed no culture shock at all. It must really be some place! Obi-Wan stopped in front of the door to the rooms he shared with his Padawan. 

"No, Master! Don't tell me he's going to share our quarters!" Anakin protested, a sour look on his face. "Why can't we put him in a guest room?"

"Because he won't stay there. Besides, we have nothing for him to steal." Obi-Wan replied as he unlocked the door and entered the main common room. "I'm sure it'll be only for a day or two. The Council should come to a decision quickly regarding this matter. And if he's to stay longer, we can give him his own quarters than."

Anakin sighed, realizing his Master was right. They owned very little the thief would want. Besides, it would be late soon and then he could sneak off to see Padme! Most likely both Obi-Wan and Autolycus would fall asleep. Anyway, he hoped they would. How miserable it was being married to Padme and being forced to sneak around just to see his own wife! It was so unfair! But then, he knew it would be this way when they got married. Still, it was hard living this way, worrying all the time they would get caught. 

"Now, I want you to wear this." Obi-Wan was saying to their guest. "It's a tracking device that will allow me to find you in case you get lost. Coruscant is very large and very dangerous, especially the lower levels of the city. Trust me, you wouldn't want to go down there, ever. There are aliens that will kill you for a single boot and creatures that would eat you. Do you understand?"

"Yep." Autolycus said in a bored voice as he pinned the little doodad onto his leather vest. "Sounds just like home, seven headed hydras and all."

"Good." Obi-Wan smiled as he went to get them some supper. He was planning on having a long chat with their guest after they had eaten. He wanted to hear all about these hydras and what ever else they had on this Forbidden Planet. "Now I want you to promise me you won't leave this room if either me or Anakin isn't with you."

"All right." Autolycus agreed, one hand hidden behind his back with the fingers crossed. The thief figured it was best to humor the guy. 

It was much later when Anakin opened his bedroom door and peeked out into the common room of his and Obi-Wan's apartment. His Master had fallen asleep on one of the sofas while talking to his guest. It seemed he had been waiting forever for that to happen. His Master lay with his head leaning backward on the sofa's back, his mouth open, snoring. His Master's neck was really going to hurt in the morning from sleeping like that, but he dare not wake him.

Anakin checked on their guest and saw him curled up on the other little sofa. They had apparently talked themselves to sleep. With a grin, Anakin creep to the door and slunk out into the deserted hallway. At this hour, the entire temple would be asleep and it would be a simple matter to sneak off to see Padme. The door shut silently behind him and he headed out to see his wife.

As soon as the door closed, one of Autolycus' eyes popped open. He silently sat up and threw the blanket off. Slipping off the sofa without making a single sound, he snuck off into the hallway after Anakin. If he wasn't mistaken, Braid Boy was up to something and he was determined to find out what it was!

To be continued….

**Hope this chapter was OK. It was a little hard writing about so many characters all at once!**


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